西方人的幽默[转载]

矮子

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能 的,有时还需要信用卡 . 　　　　
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物 ,尤其是煮熟的. 　　　　
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡.
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居,不过 不要让她的老公知道. 　　　　
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人. 每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个女人. 　　　　
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛. 　　　　
The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来. 　　　　
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是 一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚. 　　　　
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口, 今天就要找好. 　　　　
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片, 需要大量的暗房时间来培养. 　　 　　
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外, 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩. 　　　　
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
"现在的梦 想决定着你的将来",还是再睡一会吧. 　　　　
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来.
"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk?
"努力工 作不会导致死亡!"不过我不会用自己去证明. 　　　　
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours!
"工作好有意思耶!" 尤其是看着别人工作.
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲 戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给你留了余地. 　　　　
When two's company, three's the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的, 三个人才是! 　　　　
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的 观看. 　　　　
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多,忘记的越多, 忘记的越多,知道的 越少, 为什么学来着?!

畜牧人2008

太棒了，非常感谢！

畜牧人2008

太棒了，非常感谢！

马特

Good .:tiaotiao:

雨寒

哲理

cheng_zhang

　
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物 ,尤其是煮熟的. -----每个人都应该热爱动物，它们好吃极了　　　
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡. —— 要节约用水，多鸳鸯浴